13. June 2026
Social Imposter Syndrome
Good day to all you lovely LinkedIn people out there. This is my first and possibly only post about a personal, lets call it an affliction for now until a better word springs to mind, that I’m sure quite a lot of people out there have. For the lack of an actual name, I’m going to call it Social Imposter Syndrome (I’m sure there’s an actual name for this out there but we’ll use this as it sounds good!). I’m posting this here as I hope it helps anyone else who feels like this, and I couldn’t really think of anywhere else to put it!
Like the work/career version of Imposter Syndrome, its very much centred around feeling like you shouldn’t be in a place, group, or a social situation because you don’t feel like you fit in or don’t belong there. I’ve had that kind of feeling pretty much as long as I can remember and always felt like I’m on the fringes of things in regard to when I’m with groups of people or in social situations either in work or in my personal life.
I’ve not really ever felt like I fitted into a specific group or culture/sub-culture. I’ve been a metaller for most of my life but never really fitted into metal scene and people as I was a bit too “un-metal” as I didn’t go the whole hog and washed regularly! Same thing with skating and the skater scene, school and pretty much all the places I’ve ever worked, until recently (but we’ll get to that, have patience!). Even my circles of friends since I was young, I’ve always felt kind of out of place. That’s not to say I didn’t have great friends as a kid, just like I do now, I just always felt like I wasn’t fully accepted or part of the whole group.
At school I was never part of the cool set, I wasn’t into all the other stuff that “cool” kids are into and I’ve never been a “lads lad” (Pride and Prejudice is and will always be one of my favourite books and I love Shakespeare!) and have never been into that kind of life. I’ve definitely always been drawn to more cerebral friends.
Fast forward to work life and the same thing happened where I never really fitted into the social situations out of work or the groups that formed within the different departments. At work nights out I’d always be quiet at the start and wonder if I should be there and if anyone would notice if I just snuck out the side door and left. Despite what some people who know me may think, I am actually a very shy social person and can be very quiet when out with groups of people unless I really know them. I’m sure like others who get this, its seen as being moody or sullen, but its really not, its just assessing if you should be there and how to actually start talking to people.
Now, there are some people who I have worked with in the past and currently work with who do get me and have been incredibly accepting and welcoming from the start. I wont mention everyone but definitely have to mention Jow Arif who was my first boss in my first proper IT job. He was a very warm and welcoming person from the very start and made it very easy for me to fit in at Snapguard which was quite a big transition for me and I was extremely nervous. My four years there were amazing and we all felt like a family and I’m very happy to count him among my friends 16 years later.
The other person who needs mentioning is my amazing wife who has always completely got me and accepted who I am with my many flaws! (and on proof reading this for me felt like she should have a bigger paragraph!)